Yea sure that will work..

Last year I was contacted by a charming individual who wanted to purchase one of my pieces of furniture. He TOLD me that he WOULD only be paying 10% of the asking price, because he wanted the wood, (antique teak) to repair his chair, not the actual table and since he only wanted the wood not the furniture he is going to pay 10%.. not even a question, it was a statement of fact.. a command. HE was DOING this and I was going to COMPLY..

I took a few mins to craft my answer because my first impulse was “go eat a bag of dicks”. I decided I can do better, a proper mindfuk takes a little thought. After careful consideration and artful dodging I came up with this:

I replied and asked him “if he had a car?” He assumed I meant to pick up the wood and he informed me that I would be delivering the table to him. He was not going to pick it up, delivery was my responsibility.. I replied “oh no not for delivery I am going to buy your car for 14.37% of the asking price because I only want the fenders, and when would he be dropping it off at my house?”

He blocked me immediately. Bye bye.